Honorable experiences

Dear Friends and family,

In my patriarchal blessing I was blessed that I would "have many honorable experiences in life," I've got to tell you that I have had some very choice experiences this week. I have thought over my blessing many times this week as I have seen miracles before my eyes and felt them in my heart. This last week was zone conference. We took a train down to Bucharest and had a day of hearing from Elder Kerr and his wife, Sister Kerr. Elder Kerr is an area 70 and they are both from Scotland. It was really great to hear them and when Elder Kerr called on me, he had to tell everyone, "Sora Macdonald, look there, that's a REAL Scottish name." I felt very proud, I'll admit. The conference was absolutely fantastic. The spirit was so strong and we got so many good ideas about finding people in the winter time, We had dinner and Sora Atkins and I got to sit by President and sister Hill and the visiting Elder and Sister Kerr. I got to talk to them, mostly Sister Kerr and Sister Hill and they are really great. We really have a great President and Sister Hill with us. I'm so excited to work with them here in Romania. 

So for the last several weeks, really since I've left on my mission, but mostly since I've been in Romania- I've felt lost and been confused and overwhelmed with the language, I've also been thinking about, missing, longing for my Mom. Every day. I think about what she was like on her mission, what kind of missionary she was, how frustrated I am and how much relief I would feel if I could just have her hold me one more time. It's a pain that never goes away, you just live with it, you just continue on and life is fun. But I've forgotten how deep the pain penetrates, how far the emptiness can echo in my chest without her. I mean, she is my mama. You only have one. It's making me emotional just writing about this here. 

Just last week I was lying in bed, holding my chest because of how much I missed her and so I prayed like I had everyday that her spirit could be with me, some relief I thought--a small favor from God. But mostly I prayed that I could do the work, be worthy of the spirit in all that we did and that I could continues to be as obedient as I could be. So I carried on...and then we went down to zone conference. After the day had concluded, and everyone was lingering around talking to President Hill and the other missionaries they hadn't seen in a while, I got in line behind an Elder to say thank you and goodbye to Sister Kerr. She told a wonderful story about her conversion and she was so pleasant to talk to, and I thought about just leaving because I felt awkward waiting behind this other person but then I felt like I should just wait, so I did. I can't really explain how this happened or all that we said but I hope that I can convey the spirit of my experience with her. 

We had some small talk and she gave me a hug and I told her where I was from and about how I wanted to go to Scotland one day to find my heritage there. Then a little abruptly she asked, "How are your parents?" something caught my attention off to the side and I looked away. There have been plenty of times when I'm sure I've just said, " Fine," and I might have said this to her, it wasn't like I would ever see her again, its not like she would ever know. But something told me to turn back to her and tell her the truth. I suddenly felt very nervous. But it wasn't because I had to explain that both of my parents had died, that's something that I've had to do many times before, but it was something that made me start to shake inside. I can't explain, but the second I said, "Actually both of my parents passed away a few years ago," some look came across her face. 

She was surprised but it wasn't because I had a parent that I had died, it was because they BOTH had died. "From when we talked at lunch, I felt that there was one of them on the other side," she said. I explained about my birth family too and how close I felt to my birth dad and how my dad had died when I was 7 years old. When I told her about my mom and how she passed just before I turned 13, she said, "Old enough to know and love her." "Yes, she was my best friend," I think I said. "That's who've I felt around me since we talked. You're mom loves you, she loves you so much." After she said that there were real tears running down my face  and she pulled me into a hug. "This hug is from her and she loves you," Sister Kerr said. As I bent down a little to hug her, I felt something that I can't explain quite right, that is impossible to express. This woman was a perfect stranger but when she held me, I really felt my mom's arms around. I felt like there was no skin holding me spirit inside, and nothing to keep my mom's from holding me. I've never felt that close to my mom before. Not ever, since she had passed. I was shaking because I was crying so hard as sister Kerr hugged me. My mom was there! I know it, I feel that moment in my heart right now as I write this! 

What more honorable experience could I ever have? When I prayed just a couple days before the only thing that made me keep praying and going was the scripture that came to my mind again and again, "Remember even the faithful have felt forsaken and not lost there faith." (Psalms) Not only does he bless those that are faithful but he hears ALL of our prayers and I know Christ has felt every one of our pains. He knows exactly how to succor us, and even when it feels like our prayers are just hitting the ceiling and coming right back to us, when we are faithful, our blessings overflow, and we can "sing the cry of redeeming love," as Nephi did in 2nd Nephi 5:26.
The only more honorable experiance that I can think of is bringing another soul unto Christ--inviting them to come unto Him, witnessing that conversion. 

I've told you about Fratele Stoica and how he said that he wants to be baptized but won't choose a date. The "eternal investigator" as so many have called him before us. But, this last week, his daughter, Andreea just got home from her mission and we had a lesson with Fratele and Sora Stoica and their daughter, Andreea. We had dinner and then pulled out the Book of Mormon for our lesson we prayed and went over the chapter that he had been assigned to read from last time, we went over a couple of things and then the spirit just took over the lesson. Sora Atkins gave the most powerful testimony of how she knows that he is ready, and then his daughter, Andreea testified, in the most quiet, dignified and powerful way. Then she said something that I will never forget, she said, "Noi trebui sa mergem la templul Tata. In curand."--we need to go to the temple, dad. Soon." It's so hard to explain things that feel so driven by the spirit but it was so strong, it felt like it was stretching across the space between each of us to touch our hearts. 

Fratele Stoica was very quiet and we all waited. He wiped away a tear from his eyes and looked up at the calender on the wall. I didn't dare speak, trusting the spirit so much more than my feeble words. Sora Stoica finally said, "When Rodu comes home."--Their son who is serving a mission in Scotland (of all places). Fratele Stoica without hesitation said, "Yes, when Rodu comes home and he can baptise me." He will be home in February. And when me and Sora Atkins left we just complete peace about it. We wanted it to be sooner but the spirit always knows better. We are still so excited and so overwhelmed with how powerful the spirit was and how humbling and magnificent to really witness how it converts hearts! How it can change the very natures of people and give peace, reassurance and guidance about where to go and what to do. I know that it is what guided to make the choice to come on a mission. I can never be grateful enough. This is the best decision that I ever made.
I love you all so much, I know the Lord is taking care of you for me,
Katy/Sora Macdonald

Week 3 in Romania!

Dear friends and family!

FINALLY I have a little time to tell you how life is in Romania! My first area is in Iasi. Its in the north eastern area of Romania. It is beautiful here. Romania has a lot more poverty than probably anyone (or maybe just me) ever thought about. So I mostly just gasped when we landed in Bucharesti. But Iasi is fantastic. As we were walking to this little internet cafe, I realized that I knew my way around, and that it really is starting to feel like home.


But I really want to talk about it the people, the branch, our investigators and the faith that I have to pray for everyday to have the desire to go out and talk to people even though I literally don't speak Romanian. I guess the thesis statement, if you will, of this letter home is about faith. The faith of the people and the faith you have to have as a missionary, especially when you are serving in a foreign country.


So the first few days all passed in a haze... I had my first lesson with Fratele Stoica and his member wife two days after I made it into the country. I'm ashamed to say, the only thing I remember was that the food that she gave us was delicious and that they seemed really nice. I think we talked about the plan of salvation and I said about two lines because I understood even less throughout the course of the hour we were there. I had such a desire to be obedient but I was soo afraid to open my mouth. I am still scared to death! But through the grace of God, my mouth HAS been filled to help his children. I felt miserable and afraid of everything and everyone my first week here. I still get scared everyday, but I have at least a better idea of how to conquer it.

At about day five, I was just feeling beyond belief inadequate, so scared, thinking crazy thoughts like I should be sent to serve in eastern U.S. or something like I thought I was going to but then one day, in my personal studies. I was reading in the last chapter of Ether and it talks about Coriantumr, the king, who had seen how a great number of people had died and he felt such great sorrow and he remembered the words of the prophets and began to repent of the evil which he had done. But the last you here about this before he goes to war with his people again and he dies last and alone, it says, "his soul mourned and refused to be comforted." and in the margin next to it, I had written sometime in the MTC, "to refuse the grace of the atonement, is to refuse Christ." To refuse the grace, the forgiveness and the help of the atonement is to refuse Christ. It is failure.

And it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been called to ROMANIA, speaking ROMANIAN. Obviously, God knows that I can do this. But I can't do it alone. How long was I going to refuse the aid of Christ? "I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me." And because I wasn't called stateside, this is what he wants me to do. Even if I still can't understand when people ask me where I'm from or how old I am, or many other simple things, I know that I can learn. When I was reading this story and thinking of all this, I still had such fear in my heart. And it wasn't just that day but everyday since then.

Every single morning, I pray to be lent the courage that I lack, to speak to these people. I get so scared so often, speaking to strangers, let alone members who know that I can't understand anything, But I know that I want to be obedient  I want to give what I have in me and then some on my mission. And the Lord has really blessed me, the mouth really has been filled. The first time I bore testimony, like my one experience I had in the MTC, my mouth was filled. I felt like I could speak fluently because the words were written on my heart and through my faith, they could be called to my remembrance.

Last week, we had a lesson with Fratele Stoica, and his wife is a member, he has two children on missions and has basically been the eternal investigator for the last ten years. But me and my companion prayed to have more faith for him and that he would start to feel ready for baptism  Sora Atkins decided that I--ME! should be the one to invite him to baptism  I was so scared and anxious about it the whole day but I said a prayer in my heart and when Sora Atkins gave me the go-ahead (I usually need one since i get lost when people talk too fast) and I bore my testimony. I said I knew these things were true, that Christ lived and that he was the head of this gospel on the earth. I looked down and took a deep breath. It was quiet and I said, "veti urmam exemplul lui Isus Hristos prin a fi botezat de catre o persoana care detine authortatea preotiei lui Dumnezeu?"
He said "Da"!!!


We didn't set up a date with him but he said yes and for the first time he is actually progressing! since then he has been reading in the Book of Mormon and praying everyday! Even it wasn't exactly what we wanted neither Sora atkins or I could complain at all! because for the first time eh is progressing! And we know that that is the lords will for him! Fratele Stoica's birthday was yesterday and he wants to take all the missionaries out for it tomorrow night. He is so wonderful. There are so much countless experiences here that I wish I could share but hopefully I will have time next week to get them all down. I love you all so much, you are always in my prayers.
love always,
katy/sora macdonald