Honorable experiences

Dear Friends and family,

In my patriarchal blessing I was blessed that I would "have many honorable experiences in life," I've got to tell you that I have had some very choice experiences this week. I have thought over my blessing many times this week as I have seen miracles before my eyes and felt them in my heart. This last week was zone conference. We took a train down to Bucharest and had a day of hearing from Elder Kerr and his wife, Sister Kerr. Elder Kerr is an area 70 and they are both from Scotland. It was really great to hear them and when Elder Kerr called on me, he had to tell everyone, "Sora Macdonald, look there, that's a REAL Scottish name." I felt very proud, I'll admit. The conference was absolutely fantastic. The spirit was so strong and we got so many good ideas about finding people in the winter time, We had dinner and Sora Atkins and I got to sit by President and sister Hill and the visiting Elder and Sister Kerr. I got to talk to them, mostly Sister Kerr and Sister Hill and they are really great. We really have a great President and Sister Hill with us. I'm so excited to work with them here in Romania. 

So for the last several weeks, really since I've left on my mission, but mostly since I've been in Romania- I've felt lost and been confused and overwhelmed with the language, I've also been thinking about, missing, longing for my Mom. Every day. I think about what she was like on her mission, what kind of missionary she was, how frustrated I am and how much relief I would feel if I could just have her hold me one more time. It's a pain that never goes away, you just live with it, you just continue on and life is fun. But I've forgotten how deep the pain penetrates, how far the emptiness can echo in my chest without her. I mean, she is my mama. You only have one. It's making me emotional just writing about this here. 

Just last week I was lying in bed, holding my chest because of how much I missed her and so I prayed like I had everyday that her spirit could be with me, some relief I thought--a small favor from God. But mostly I prayed that I could do the work, be worthy of the spirit in all that we did and that I could continues to be as obedient as I could be. So I carried on...and then we went down to zone conference. After the day had concluded, and everyone was lingering around talking to President Hill and the other missionaries they hadn't seen in a while, I got in line behind an Elder to say thank you and goodbye to Sister Kerr. She told a wonderful story about her conversion and she was so pleasant to talk to, and I thought about just leaving because I felt awkward waiting behind this other person but then I felt like I should just wait, so I did. I can't really explain how this happened or all that we said but I hope that I can convey the spirit of my experience with her. 

We had some small talk and she gave me a hug and I told her where I was from and about how I wanted to go to Scotland one day to find my heritage there. Then a little abruptly she asked, "How are your parents?" something caught my attention off to the side and I looked away. There have been plenty of times when I'm sure I've just said, " Fine," and I might have said this to her, it wasn't like I would ever see her again, its not like she would ever know. But something told me to turn back to her and tell her the truth. I suddenly felt very nervous. But it wasn't because I had to explain that both of my parents had died, that's something that I've had to do many times before, but it was something that made me start to shake inside. I can't explain, but the second I said, "Actually both of my parents passed away a few years ago," some look came across her face. 

She was surprised but it wasn't because I had a parent that I had died, it was because they BOTH had died. "From when we talked at lunch, I felt that there was one of them on the other side," she said. I explained about my birth family too and how close I felt to my birth dad and how my dad had died when I was 7 years old. When I told her about my mom and how she passed just before I turned 13, she said, "Old enough to know and love her." "Yes, she was my best friend," I think I said. "That's who've I felt around me since we talked. You're mom loves you, she loves you so much." After she said that there were real tears running down my face  and she pulled me into a hug. "This hug is from her and she loves you," Sister Kerr said. As I bent down a little to hug her, I felt something that I can't explain quite right, that is impossible to express. This woman was a perfect stranger but when she held me, I really felt my mom's arms around. I felt like there was no skin holding me spirit inside, and nothing to keep my mom's from holding me. I've never felt that close to my mom before. Not ever, since she had passed. I was shaking because I was crying so hard as sister Kerr hugged me. My mom was there! I know it, I feel that moment in my heart right now as I write this! 

What more honorable experience could I ever have? When I prayed just a couple days before the only thing that made me keep praying and going was the scripture that came to my mind again and again, "Remember even the faithful have felt forsaken and not lost there faith." (Psalms) Not only does he bless those that are faithful but he hears ALL of our prayers and I know Christ has felt every one of our pains. He knows exactly how to succor us, and even when it feels like our prayers are just hitting the ceiling and coming right back to us, when we are faithful, our blessings overflow, and we can "sing the cry of redeeming love," as Nephi did in 2nd Nephi 5:26.
The only more honorable experiance that I can think of is bringing another soul unto Christ--inviting them to come unto Him, witnessing that conversion. 

I've told you about Fratele Stoica and how he said that he wants to be baptized but won't choose a date. The "eternal investigator" as so many have called him before us. But, this last week, his daughter, Andreea just got home from her mission and we had a lesson with Fratele and Sora Stoica and their daughter, Andreea. We had dinner and then pulled out the Book of Mormon for our lesson we prayed and went over the chapter that he had been assigned to read from last time, we went over a couple of things and then the spirit just took over the lesson. Sora Atkins gave the most powerful testimony of how she knows that he is ready, and then his daughter, Andreea testified, in the most quiet, dignified and powerful way. Then she said something that I will never forget, she said, "Noi trebui sa mergem la templul Tata. In curand."--we need to go to the temple, dad. Soon." It's so hard to explain things that feel so driven by the spirit but it was so strong, it felt like it was stretching across the space between each of us to touch our hearts. 

Fratele Stoica was very quiet and we all waited. He wiped away a tear from his eyes and looked up at the calender on the wall. I didn't dare speak, trusting the spirit so much more than my feeble words. Sora Stoica finally said, "When Rodu comes home."--Their son who is serving a mission in Scotland (of all places). Fratele Stoica without hesitation said, "Yes, when Rodu comes home and he can baptise me." He will be home in February. And when me and Sora Atkins left we just complete peace about it. We wanted it to be sooner but the spirit always knows better. We are still so excited and so overwhelmed with how powerful the spirit was and how humbling and magnificent to really witness how it converts hearts! How it can change the very natures of people and give peace, reassurance and guidance about where to go and what to do. I know that it is what guided to make the choice to come on a mission. I can never be grateful enough. This is the best decision that I ever made.
I love you all so much, I know the Lord is taking care of you for me,
Katy/Sora Macdonald